non-sense

Disclaimer: Ang suspetsa ay maaaring makasira ng relasyon

May ilang buwan na rin simula ng gawin ko ang masasabi kong pinaka matinding kasalanan na nagawa ko sa kanya pero ngayon lang tumitimo sa akin kung gano kasakit ang ginawa kong iyon.

Isang pagkakataon ang nagdulot sa akin upang gawin ang bagay na susukat ng tiwala ko sa kanya. Nag-ugat sa isang sms, sinundan ng bahagyang pagtatanong sa sarili, nagbunga ng lakas ng loob, humantong sa paghihinala at ngayon... walang kapararakan ang mga ginawa ko na yun.

Bakit nga ba hanggang ngayon isyu pa rin sa akin ang textmate? Tama siya, wala naman akong naririnig mula sa kanya kapag nagkukuwento ako o nakikita niya akong nakikipagkamustahan sa mga textmate ko din pero bakit sa sarili ko hindi ko matanggap na ang bagay na ito ay hindi naman dapat pinag-uugatan pa ng matinding paghihinala na tiyak na mauuwi lang naman sa pag-aaway.

Ngayong nalaman ko na ang textmate niyang yun (na palihim kong kinuha ang number at tinext para masigurado kung ano ang meron sila) eh nanatiling plain textmate pa din hanggang ngayon, mukhang napahiya ata ako sa ginawa at naisip ko.

Ang sitwasyon na ito ay pwedeng segundahan ng pangyayari na ang mysterious textmate na ito ay naging jowa ng kaibigan ko, dahil na rin sa katarantaduhan ko na nagpanggap akong siya para lang makumpirma ang mga bagay na nasa utak ko nung mga panahon na yun.

Nang magbunganga na siya sa akin, nadala ako, natakot at umaasang maayos pa ang gusot na pinasok ko. Naramdaman ko kung gano kasakit sa kanyang malaman na wala akong tiwala sa kanya samantalang siya lagpas langit ang pagtitiwala.

Hindi ko siya masisi kung bakit ilang linggo inabot ang gulo namin na yun pero mabait pa rin talaga sa akin ang pagkakataon at ang Bro dahil naayos naman namin ang dapat maayos.

Isang bagay lang, hindi kailanman tatakbo ng maayos ang isang pagsasama kung puno ng paghihinala at suspetsa. Kaakibat ng salitang commitment ang salitang trust na siyang magpapanatili sa pagsasama.

* At ang mga salitang gaya ng textmate ay hindi dapat masyadong pinaglalaanan ng panahon lalo kung alam mo sa simula pa lang kung gano ka kamahal ng asawa mo... mas lalo pa kung sinabi niya ng personalna mahal ka niya at walang anumang dahilan upang lokohin ka niya (awww, sweet!)

struck for a moment

Struck from a text message coming from a friend.

We may fall in love fast, but sometimes it wouldn't last.
We may flirt and take off our shirt, but then it wasn't worth the dirt.
We may have feelings even we already have rings and still end up with the one who give life its true meanings.

People are everywhere, but true love is rare.


Oh so true, and I'm glad I found this very rare "true love." Yeah, problems may go along the way but I believe, with genuine love and affection all will end up well.

series of cold nights

wifeyku,

I really went through a lot trying to prove a point, because lately you have noticed that I seem to forget my responsibilities as a partner most especially in terms of communication. I should have been giving some reasons for what I feel. Perhaps I've been busy these past few days. I truly know that whenever we talk, you just want to have the best of it, the best of me and the best of us. Well, you might think this is just a joke but this is not; I am really longing to have quality times with you. I want to see you and hang out with you. Really.

And I want to say sorry if I hurt your feelings... I know that I have hurt you for what I've done these past few days and now I am asking for your forgiveness and hoping that we could be OK again. I don’t want bad times with you. I really cherish those moments when everything was going great, and we're so cool. So please forgive me for what I’ve said and done. I guess I just needed to vent and let you know how I feel… Please don't take my venting the wrong way. I do want you and don't want to lose you. And I know that would just make me even more imperfect than I already am.

Such a cliché but I always want to thank you for all the support, love and care. Though you've been through a lot of trouble and sacrifices in loving me, it doesn't matter to you; you’re always there loving me continuously. I know it's complex for us to tell the future, but whatever the outcome of our relationship is, I just want you to know that I've never regretted any moment of our relationship and I will cherished the good and bad memories of what we had together. I know that I'm good at showing you but honestly, I could hardly take the reality of losing you. I can’t give you up. And yeah… I’ll forever be thankful that you came into my life. You’re my protector and my angel. Though I don't always say this to you, I wanted you to know that I love you a lot and I hope that you know that. I can't afford to let you go because you're also the reason why I’m happy now.

Thanks for everything and take care always!

Xoxo,
honeykuku

P.S.
If loving you was wrong, I don't want to be right and if living without you is right, I would rather be wrong all my life. I love you!

plate

on my way to greenhills, san juan. just captured this plate number. isn't it cute if you have the same plate letters in your car?or it can also be FCK. hehehe. playful mind indeed.

been a long time.

I think I need to catch up with a lot of things. It's been 3 months since I had my last entry, blame it on the kind of work I am into. I just have to forego my extra-curricular activities like this.

Checking up the dashboards, pile of distinguished entries from familiar authors welcomed me. I must admit, I never even visited any blogsite among my favorite authors and it sucks that I missed a lot of good stories from them. And I'm also excited to share the stories I've encountered in the past few months.

As of now, I'm still struggling how to bring back the energy of writing my day-to-day accounts but I know, I have to. It's not the number of blogs you've written but it's the nice stories being unfold.

Kanpai!

It was my day yesterday and I must say, it’s been another fun-filled celebration of my birthday.

Good old friends filled up my house; they never fail to remember my special day. My betterhalf, though not around (since he has this plan in mind), still able to greet me with best words. I also got the chance to thank HIM for all the blessings, trials and hanging moments he provided me in the past years. Even my family and relatives constantly greeted me. That really made my day.

But I also had my pause. I am another year older and this only means that I’m maturing and so I should also be more responsible. I just can’t help but think what life has to offer me this year that would surely measure the ripeness of my personality.

Still, whatever scenario there will be in the coming days, I will still share my life, my blessings and my journey with people who always stay around.

To all of you who took the effort to visit and greet me yesterday, Thank you so much!

586

4 days left and another year will add up.

Mackoy is planning to have… a reserved time to thank HIM for another wonderful year, a moment to seize the day with his betterhalf, a chance to express his happiness to his family for just being there and a get together with his good old and new friends.

Mackoy just finished his roller coaster ride, hope he is bound for a smooth-sailing journey across the waters of predicament this year.